For most of my life, public speaking was not something I loved. It was something I survived. I’ve now spent decades speaking on stages around the world as an entrepreneur, author, and keynote speaker, but that comfort was hard-earned.
Looking back, there are a few moments that clearly made me better. Not slicker. Better. More grounded, more effective, and a lot less inside my own head.
This is the first of them.
The Best Speaking Advice I Got Early in My Career
When I gave my first live event presentation in 2005, I was stepping into unfamiliar territory. I’d been invited by Robert Puddy to speak at his Internet marketing event in Charlotte, North Carolina, and I was grateful for the opportunity. I was also nervous as hell.
Since then, I’ve delivered talks on internet marketing, social media, authorship, blockchain, AI, and a number of other topics. I’ve spoken to audiences large and small, in different countries, across different industries. But in those early days, I was still trying to figure out how to be on stage without looking like I wanted to crawl under it.
What’s funny is that I majored in speech communications at the University of Illinois. Not because I dreamed of becoming a speaker, but because it seemed like the least painful path to a Liberal Arts degree. I hated giving speeches in college. I’d lose sleep the night before. Sometimes I’d feel anxious enough that even breathing seemed like work.
That version of me would be surprised to see the one who walks on stage now feeling completely at home.
One of the reasons that changed goes back to a conversation I had with Alex Mandossian.
What Alex Mandossian Taught Me About Owning the Room
Early in my speaking career, I found myself around people who had already done what I wanted to do. I shared stages with Mike Filsaime, Craig Perrine, and Gary Ambrose, and I still remember how kind and encouraging they were to me when I told them I was giving my first presentation. That matters more than people realize. Being welcomed by experienced people takes some of the edge off.
But one conversation stayed with me longer than the rest.
At some event, somewhere in those early years, Alex Mandossian sat down with me in a hotel lobby and gave me a piece of advice I never forgot. Alex was a former Madison Avenue ad executive turned internet marketer, and he knew how to command attention. When I told him I was nervous about speaking, he gave me a simple framework for taking control of the room before I ever said a word.
His advice was this:
Walk onto the stage at a comfortable pace.
Go to the front and center.
Stand still.
Smile naturally.
Scan the room slowly from one side to the other.
Make eye contact where you can.
Nod gently.
Say nothing at first.
That was it.
No magic line. No gimmick. No “here’s how to fake confidence.” Just a quiet way of establishing presence.
Why a Quiet Entrance Can Make You a Better Speaker
At first glance, this might sound like a performance trick. It isn’t. Or at least, not in the phony sense.
What it does is shift your state before you launch into your content.
Most nervous speakers rush. They move fast, talk fast, click too soon, and start spilling words before they’ve actually arrived in the room. I know, because I used to do that. When you’re anxious, speed feels like escape. You want to get through it. Unfortunately, that frantic energy tells the audience something is off before you’ve even begun.
A deliberate entrance does the opposite.
It slows your body down first. That matters, because your body usually gets the memo before your brain does. If you move like you belong there, you start to feel like you belong there. Not instantly. Not magically. But enough to change the first thirty seconds, and the first thirty seconds matter a lot.
It also tells the audience, without a single word, that you are present and paying attention. You’re not barging in to dump information on them. You’re meeting them. You’re saying, in effect, I see you. We’re here together now. Let’s begin.
That creates something many speakers miss: authority without force.
There’s a big difference between trying to dominate a room and quietly owning your place in it. One feels needy. The other feels grounded. Audiences can sense the difference right away.
Most Speaking Anxiety Is Really About Control
Here’s the deeper insight I didn’t fully understand back then: a lot of speaking anxiety comes from feeling out of control.
You can’t control whether every person in the audience likes you. You can’t control whether the AV works perfectly. You can’t control whether someone checks their phone in the third row. But you can control your entrance. Your pace. Your posture. Your breathing. Your first moment.
That’s not a small thing. It’s the beginning of everything.
When you start in a way that feels centered, you stop approaching the stage like you’re entering enemy territory. You start approaching it like a host. That changes your energy, and your energy changes the room.
I’ve seen plenty of speakers with great information lose an audience because they entered with scattered energy. I’ve also seen speakers with less-than-brilliant material hold a room because they were calm, present, and fully there.
Content matters. Presence matters first.
The Speaking Skill That Has Nothing to Do With Words
A lot of people think becoming a better speaker means learning better stories, better structure, better slides, or better jokes. Those things help. But before all of that, there’s something even more basic.
Can you stand in front of a room and be at ease long enough for people to trust you?
That’s really the question.
Alex’s advice helped me understand that speaking starts before the speaking starts. It begins with how you enter. How you hold the moment. How you relate to the room before you ask it to listen to you.
I took his advice and made it my own. Not in some over-rehearsed theatrical way. Naturally. Quietly. But consistently. And it made a real difference. I became more comfortable, and because I became more comfortable, I became more effective.
That one piece of wisdom stayed with me for twenty years.
Learn From People Who’ve Already Been There
One of the smartest things you can do in any field is listen carefully when someone with real experience takes the time to help you.
Not everyone who has been on stage has wisdom. Some just have mileage. But when you find someone who understands both the mechanics and the mindset, pay attention. A single piece of insight, given at the right time, can save you years of fumbling.
That conversation with Alex did that for me.
It didn’t turn me into a great speaker overnight. But it gave me something better than a shortcut. It gave me a foundation.
And foundations matter.
If you want more practical, human-centered insights on communication, technology, and staying relevant in a fast-changing world, check out my AI for Everyone Podcast.