We sell ourselves a load of bullshit every day. There, I said it. Bullshit.
We tell ourselves comfortable lies in order to avoid the uncomfortable truths.
I don’t care how “together” your life is. You sell yourself bullshit every day. And you’ve become so accustomed to buying it that you may not even see it for what it is… bullshit.
It may be through the news you consume. I don’t care where you are on the political spectrum. You are consuming some degree of bullshit. Probably more than you are willing to admit.
It may be through the opinions of friends, family or associates. After all, if we are so good at selling it to ourselves, how much more likely is it that others are selling us their bullshit? Believe me. You are consuming it by the metric shit-ton every day. Whether through marketing messages, opinions or whatever other form of communication is out there, you are gleefully chugging it down. Glug glug.
And most tragically, it is likely inundating you through your own belief system and thought life.
While bullying and abuse are horrible things that no one should endure, some of the worst harassment comes from how we think about and talk to ourselves.
Worry, fear and doubt can plague our thought life. Low self-esteem and negative self-talk are common amongst us human beings. We’re not always very kind to ourselves.
In fact, if we had friends that spoke to us in the critical way that many of us speak to ourselves, those people would be considered BAD friends! You wouldn’t want those people in your circle.
That’s because we have become accustomed to selling ourselves our own bullshit. Every. Single. Day.
“I can’t accomplish that goal!”
Bullshit.
“I’ll never be as successful as _____.”
Bullshit.
“I’m not worthy of _____.”
Bullshit.
“I can’t lose weight/stop smoking/start exercising” (or whatever else you may be struggling with)
Bullshit.
“If I do or say ______, people won’t like me.”
Bullshit.
“Other peoples’ opinion of me matters.”
Bullshit.
“I’m unlovable because I _______.”
Bullshit.
I don’t know about you, but I’m done with it.
Haven’t you had enough?
Difficult times cause people to react one of two ways. Either they double-down on their personal deception or they awaken to a new truth that acts as an agent of transformation.
Trials can act as a bullshit disinfectant if we let them do their work.
Financial struggles and bankruptcies, separation and divorce, injury and illness… all of these are examples of opportunities to wake up.
And no such experience has a better built-in warning system then death.
In the past couple years, I’ve lost two close friends, a family member, and two business acquaintances to death. All of them what we would call premature. And then there are the people on the periphery of my sphere who have passed on as well. It seems to be a theme.
It doesn’t show any sign of slowing because we are all getting older. One day, it will be me that people mourn. (Well, some will, anyhow.) And one day, it will be you.
Time is short, my friends. And if we don’t stop buying our own bullshit now, we are going to go to the grave as our own best customer.
While some others are choosing “words” to define their year, I’m choosing a statement. It is a statement that I hope will endure long beyond this year into all my future years, however many of them I may have.
Self-actualization is a lifelong process. My experiences continue to bring me further and further down the path each year, but I’ve still go a long way to go. And perhaps this is just the next phase in shaking loose the beliefs and behaviors that aren’t part of the real me.
Because I’m done believing lies that have been embedded in me from childhood.
I’m done with remaining silent because I’m worried about who might not like me, or who might be offended.
I’m done caring if people don’t do business with me because of something I wrote or said. Those who see the value I bring will want that value. Those who don’t, oh well.
I’m done playing the game and settling for less than was intended for me by my Creator.
I hope you are as well.
So because of all this, here’s my statement:
“No more bullshit”.
I’ve posted this as a sticky note on my mirror.
I’d rather embrace an uncomfortable truth than snuggle up to a comfortable lie.
I’d rather eat humble pie and admit when I am wrong than smugly deceiving myself into thinking I am right.
And I’d rather speak up about what’s important to me and offend some people than remain silent surrounded by a larger number of people who never really knew me.
What for? So people will like me? So I’ll get more business? So I’ll get more positive feedback on social media? (Perhaps the most banal of all goals.)
I’m not making it my goal to offend people. And it’s not my goal to get less business. But it IS my goal to live as authentically as I can.
And to do this, I must say “No more bullshit.”
I’m going to make myself super-aware of when I am selling it to myself and seek to break that pattern.
No more bullshit.