I\’m not a very good cook, so I tend to eat out a lot.
I don\’t do a lot of fancy dining, but it\’s not unusual to find me and my family at a national chain or local diner.
My experiences as a patron of restaurants has helped clarify what I believe makes a good waiter and what makes a bad waiter.
Waiting tables is a difficult job. Hectic kitchens… unruly customers… angry cooks… wrong orders… heavy platters… the list goes on. I have never waited tables, but I did work in fast food when I first started working.
There are plenty of guides online for how to wait tables. Most of them are written from the perspective of a restaurant manager and what they believe is important.
My approach is a little different. I\’m going to share some of my biggest waiting table pet peeves with you. Maybe some will agree with me and others will disagree. This is just my perspective.
Before I get started, I want to say one thing.
Despite my pet peeves, I am a good tipper.
I regularly tip 20% for service. The only time I will tip 15% is if the service is bad.
Even then I leave the minimum tip because I am grateful that I do not have to wait tables. I understand the staff works hard and there are too many cheapskates that don\’t even leave 15%.
Alrighty… here we go…
1) Don\’t speak to me and my guests in the first person
The first encounter with your waiter is usually a greeting. They will frequently smile and begin with a question.
The one that gets my goat is \”How are WE doing today?\”
\”We\” is a first person pronoun that implies \”we\” are all together. In other words, the waiter is somehow part of our group.
The correct question is \”How are YOU doing today?\”
\”We\” is comprised of me and whoever else is dining with me. I don\’t recall inviting the waiter to be part of my group.
The \”We\” waiter usually follows up with a number of similarly-phrased questions throughout the meal…
\”What are WE having today?\”
\”Would WE like more to drink?\”
\”Have WE saved room for dessert?\”
I\’m thinking to myself, \”Well, perhaps I have saved room for desert… am I buying for YOU as well?\”
You are there to serve me and my guests. You are not part of my group.
WE are not amused.
2) Be invisible
I understand that some restaurants have an interactive wait staff.
Applebees, Chilis and other family grills ask their waiters to exhibit personality.
There\’s nothing wrong with being cheerful. And if your company policy is to engage with your customers, I\’m fine with that.
However, once the pleasantries have been exchanged, it\’s time to give us space to enjoy our meal and the company we are sharing.
This is your cue to be invisible.
Apart from asking for the order, you need to be careful not to be intrusive.
For example… The food has just been served. A couple minutes later the waiter comes by and asks \”Is everything tasting ok?\”
I haven\’t had a chance to taste EVERYTHING yet. If something tastes wrong, I will flag you down.
And here\’s the deal.
If my water glass is empty, don\’t ask me if I want more. Just fill it.
If you happen to see an empty plate in front of me, don\’t ask me if I am done with it. Just take it away.
Just apply common sense and you won\’t be intrusive.
3) Do I know you?
This one goes back to #1 to some degree, but it gets its own point because there are some who take it to the extreme.
When I come into a restaurant with family, friends or associates, they are the ones I intend to converse with.
I can\’t tell you how many times the waiter or waitress strikes up a conversation with me as though I am there to meet people instead of to eat.
A seat at your table isn\’t an invitation to ask me where I am from or what I do.
Now don\’t get me wrong. There are times that I strike up conversation with the staff. I am a friendly person and occasionally it is fun to dialogue.
I just don\’t want it forced on me. It\’s rude to just ignore people, but it\’s frequently inappropriate for staff to engage.
You are there to take the order, serve the meal and make sure we have a seamless dining experience. If I wanted to have dinner with you I\’d invite you to sit down.
4) Don\’t touch me!
This is perhaps my biggest pet peeve at all.
I\’m not germaphobic or anything. But I do believe in personal space.
I do not like it when a waiter takes it upon him or herself (it\’s usually the \’hers\’ that do this with me) to invade my personal space and touch me.
It\’s like we are old friends and go waaaaay back.
They laugh as they place their hand on my shoulder or back… yeah, we\’ve got a deep relationship that has made it through the first two minutes.
I don\’t want your fingers in my food. Just carry the plate.
And I definitely don\’t want your hands on me.
To quote John Cleese from the all-time best episode of Fawlty Towers, \”Don\’t touch me. I don\’t know where you\’ve been.\” ;-)
So what are your thoughts?
Do you have some pet peeves when it comes to dining out?
I can already hear someone saying, \”My pet peeve is customers like you! \”