How NOT to Use LinkedIn

I love LinkedIn. It\’s my favorite social networking site for business because it is so easy to connect with the right people.

In fact, I will connect with virtually anyone who sends me a connect request on LinkedIn. My prerequisites are few. There must be a photo with the profile and you must have at least 100 existing connections.

It\’s the only place where I will connect with complete strangers.

Once you are connected to someone, it is very easy to send them a message and explore if there is a fit for doing business together.

Unfortunately, this system is a breeding ground for all kinds of spam. And while it is not uncommon for me to receive direct solicitations from businesses, I am not offended by them. I usually just delete them.

The most offensive messages in my LinkedIn inbox are those that smell of deceit. I received one such message the other day.

I have no ill will against the person who sent me the message. I am rather thankful for a case-study to demonstrate how NOT to use LinkedIn. In fact, it\’s really a demonstration of how NOT to sell under any circumstances.

To be fair, I have no idea if this gentleman is successful at what he does or not. It really doesn\’t matter to me. I\’ve certainly made my share of mistakes in the past, so I am merely applying what I have learned to this scenario. I am hoping it is instructional to the person I am referring to, but also to others who might read.

For the record, there is NOTHING wrong with attempting to drum up business on LinkedIn. That\’s the main reason the site exists in the first place.

As a lead generation site, LinkedIn is second to none. But there is a way to generate leads with integrity, and then there is \”other\” way.

So I will detail what happened and you tell me what you think. Fair enough?

I accepted a friend request from an individual who we will call \”Tom\” on May 29th. I receive a couple dozen requests daily and just accept them.

On May 30th, I received the following message from Tom in my LinkedIn inbox. I have crossed out Tom\’s photo, domain and real name from the images as it doesn\’t really matter who he is for the purpose of this article.

I\’ve been asked to appear on many news programs and interviewed for countless magazines and websites. It\’s not unusual to receive a request for an appearance.

But the moment someone emails me with something promising all kinds of media attention, my spidey senses tingle. It must be too good to be true,

So I wasn\’t going to hop on the phone just quite yet. Instead, I replied with the following message.

The return reply came soonafter. It was as I suspected…

Something wasn\’t quite right.

Tom\’s seminars may be excellent. I don\’t know. I\’ve not been to one.

Tom may have great success training people to get media attention. I don\’t know because I\’ve not been privy to his training, nor do I know anyone who has attended one of his workshops.

Tom might be GREAT at what he does. I\’m not passing any judgment as to the quality of his work or his results.

I expect to be solicited on LinkedIn. What offends me is the WAY in which he attempted to sell me on his services. I found the message designed to decieve me into believing that there was a real opportunity to be on television. In reality, there was no such opportunity; only the opportunity to learn HOW to discover opportunity to be on television.

I responded to Tom with the following message, hoping to hear something back from him, even if it was him just defending his methods.

A day or so passed and I received the following reply.

Apparently he didn\’t understand what I was trying to communicate and was stuck on whether or not I wanted to be on television.

I was surprised by the lack of humility. If someone is offended by my email or marketing methods, I usually start out by saying \”I\’m sorry if I offended you.\” There was no recognition whatsoever of how his message made me feel. What this communicates is \”I don\’t care about you. I just want your business.\”

I began wondering if I had met Tom somewhere along the way and thought I might reach him by asking him to explain his methodology.

I wrote:

His reply was stunning and smug. I couldn\’t believe what I was reading.

Where to begin…

Well, first of all it appears he and I did meet at a conference. I don\’t remember meeting him (I meet lots of people), but it seems we took a photo together. It appears on his website as if to provide him with credibility.

Knowing that I didn\’t remember him at all, I wonder if all the other photos on his site are nothing more than \”May I please take a picture with you so I can appear to be friends with a lot of famous people?\” I don\’t know if this is the case or not, but it does raise the question.

Next, Tom proceeded to insult me multiple times. Let\’s dissect the rest of his reply and see how many best practices of social media he violated, shall we?

Here\’s a link to the photo of us on the glorious moment when we met. (I also keep it framed on my desk, next to ones of my kid, my dog, and me with the Pope.)

Am I the only one that thinks this first paragraph is laden with snarky sarcasm?

My initial message, in which I invited you to call me on my cellphone for a custom unique conversation about you and your specific situation, was sent to you and a few other authors and individuals whom I selected from my 500+ linked-in contacts because I felt you were someone whom I could easily place on TV shows produced by my friends and business associates across America. I also thought you\’d be smart enough to recognize a good thing when you saw it.

Obviously, I wasn\’t \”smart\” enough to recognize that Tom and his approach was what I needed in order to continue receiving a supply of oxygen on planet Earth. I guess I must be stupid.

If Tom truly hand-selected and only sent this to a few authors, why was there no customization to the message? How about recognition that I\’ve already been on national television?

You declined to accept my invitation to speak on the phone, so I sent you to www.(insert domain here).com where there are about 20 videos and a complete writeup of the entire opportunity. But it seems you were expecting a more \”bespoke\” reply.

No, Tom. I was expecting you to own up to your less-than-forthcoming approach to sharing your services with me. Of course, people who market to others in this manner rarely see their own shortcomings.

If you assumed that I was a huge TV producer writing to offer you your own network TV show,here\’s a little secret: that\’s not the way it works.

More condescending insults. No, Tom. I instantly assumed you were trying to bait people into viewing your website by making it APPEAR as though this was the case. I knew better, which is precisely why I wanted to give you an opportunity to admit it. You didn\’t. Instead, you defended yourself and your methods. Is this an appropriate way to win someone over?

I was and am trying to enroll you in a unique and guaranteed TV Publicity and Celebrity Building experience. There\’s nothing like it in the world, and nothing comes close to delivering the quality and value it offers.

I wouldn\’t work with anyone that I don\’t know, like or trust. Apart from the random encounter we apparently had at an event, I don\’t know you. Because of the way you approached me and then proceeded to insult me, I don\’t like you. And as far as trust goes, I\’ll let you come to your own conclusions.

Are you interested in doing a lot of TV or not? If you are, then call me on the phone to discuss.

Sigh.

Tom, how about this instead.

You contact me when you are ready to humbly apologize to me and all the others you have chosen to market to in this deceitful manner.

Tom ends his email with a question.

PS: I\’m not aware of any way to send a message to all LinkedIn contacts? Do you know how to do that?

If I did know of a way to do this, I certainly wouldn\’t share with someone that has already demonstrated misuse of the system. That would be like giving a nailgun to a three year old.

So, what\’s the lesson here?

It\’s relationship 101, Tom (and anyone else who would care to listen.)

Tom connected with me, and within 24 hours of doing so, committed the cardinal sin of marketing. He jumped directly to \”Pay me!\”

By now, most people understand that people buy from others who they KNOW, LIKE and TRUST. They don\’t buy from hucksters and snake oil salesman because they are only after one thing… your money.

When we connect with others on social sites AND in real life, we get to know each other by asking questions, sharing stories and demonstrating true concern for others\’ welfare. Those who you meet on the street that don\’t stop to have a conversation with you and skip right to asking for money are known as \”beggars.\”

Once we know people, we can decide if we like them or not. If in a relationship we sense that there is mutual value that can be brought to that relationship, trust can grow.

From that seed of trust comes the opportunity for a real transaction to take place. This is where money changes hands and value is delivered.

I\’ve no doubt that Tom has a number of people who are lured into the dream of being on television and end up going to his workshop. It\’s my hope that they get what they paid for and end up getting all kinds of publicity.

If Tom really can deliver those results, why not change the messaging?

Allow me to rewrite Tom\’s original message to me in a way that would be non-offensive, completely truthful and seeking to build a real relationship with me.

Joel,

Thanks for connecting with me on LinkedIn. I\’m excited about the opportunity to see how I might help you achieve your goals.

I am an expert in helping people secure media appearances on all the big networks in all the major markets. I provide regular trainings in Las Vegas, and have had great success with (x number) of clients.

I wonder if you would like more media exposure? If you take a look at my site and watch some of the testimonials, I think you might discover how much opportunity exists for you to get on television. I\’d love to help you get there!

Please visit my website at www.SeeWhatICanDoForYou.com or call me directly at (310) 555-1212 for more information. I look forward to hearing from you soon!

Sincerely,

Tom

I\’m not sure if I would respond to this message either, but at least it\’s completely honest. And I would be far more likely to at least LOOK at his site to discover what his services are all about.

Like me, know me, trust me, pay me.

It\’s not rocket science.

I hope Tom chooses to be more forthcoming in his messages to others. It\’s my belief that doing so would not only guard his personal integrity, but would most likely get him more business from people who he can truly help.

What are your thoughts? I\’d enjoy hearing your feedback below.