I\’ll chime in on the Gillette campaign now. My opinion is as worthless as everyone\’s else, so I may as well toss my two cents in. Please forgive me if I don\’t articulate clearly. I\’m going to do my best and I hope you see my intent. I\’m sure I\’m going to piss someone off. Don\’t nitpick at my words.
Let me start by saying I have the highest respect for women. I respect my mother. I respect my sisters. I have great respect for my ex-wife, my daughter and my girlfriend. Some of the smartest people I know are women. Women bring something to humanity that men aren\’t able to bring, because men and women are different.
I understand throughout history, due to their lesser physical strength, women have been treated as second class citizens. In some less civilized countries around the world, this is unfortunately still the case.
No woman should be subjected to abuse of any kind. Not verbal, not physical, not emotional. No women should be treated as anything less than an equal in every respect. Women should have every right that men have.
With that said, I take exception with the term \”toxic masculinity.\”
Toxic masculinity doesn\’t exist. Men being jerks does exist. The former is just a made-up term used to describe bad behavior in a blanket way.
Think about this. If toxic masculinity is a thing, so is toxic femininity. Don\’t try to tell me that doesn\’t exist as a blanket statement for bad behavior coming from women. It does. We all know it. Anyone seen the film \”Mean Girls\”? Better still, how about real life? Anyone have sisters? Female friends? Women will be the first to tell you how horrible women can be to one another. And there are no shortage of men that would tell you horror stories of bad behavior from women.
That said, horrible behavior can come from either gender. From men, it tends to come out with more aggressive behavior. It\’s wired into men as a means of survival. We have this thing called testosterone. Harnessing the energy and strength that comes from this hormone in a manner that hurts a woman in any way is inexcusable. But boys WILL be boys is a real thing. And girls will be girls.
Men like football, BBQ, working, high-fiving, burping, scratching and farting.
Women CAN like all those things (especially working), but they tend to gravitate towards things of beauty.
After all, ever take a close look at how Gillette markets their razors for men and women? Men\’s packaging is BLUE. Women\’s packaging is PINK.
This gets me to the crux of the problem I have with this commercial.
In parading forth men behaving badly (especially that line of men BBQing… ooooh.. watch out for those guys), the ad says \”some\” men get it right. Some typically does not mean \”most\”. It doesn\’t even mean half. It indicates a minority of the population. So if some is a minority, logically it means that MOST exhibit this \”toxic masculinity\”!
Bullshit.
Throughout history, men have been protectors, defenders, providers, creators, lovers, poets, designers, composers, leaders and so much more. And from this set, there have been \”some\” men who have been douchebags. They act out with violence of all kinds, harass and bully women, or even subtly discount women for many reasons that are anything but reasonable.
The testosterone that is produced by the male body can produce both positive and negative behaviors.
As the image posted suggests, the REAL problem is a lack of REAL masculinity. And that is a societal issue that is compounded by those who say men shouldn\’t be men. (Don\’t read this wrong… I am NOT endorsing bad behavior!)
I don\’t need a razor company to tell me not to be a creepy, abusive, scumbag, sexist moron. Odds are you don\’t either.
And if you think it\’s going to get through to men who DO behave like this you are dreaming. The commercial spot is an easy pitch to the choir who are already singing this song.
Who supports bullying? Who supports harassment? Who supports abuse? Who supports violence? If anyone on my friends list is in favor of these things you can go ahead and unfriend me now. Guess what? It isn\’t happening because I don\’t know anyone like this.
But THOSE people… yes, THOSE people… they are the problem.
Starting to think perhaps we are being played by this commercial? To me it reeks of manipulation.
Sure, there are some articles out there that say \”The Internet is blowing up with men who can\’t handle the Gillette commercial!\”, followed by comments stating those who feel this way must feel guilty.
Again, I say bullshit.
Yes, let\’s teach men to be men. (And this is what the commercial gets right to some degree.) Let\’s be men who love. Men who are servant, leaders. Men who have strength that can be self-controlled. To be lions who can roar and defend their pack while tending to that very pack with a gentle hand. Cry if you want. And be a badass if the situation requires it.
Let\’s teach our boys that women are equal as human beings. That they can be just as smart, witty, strong and resourceful as men. And they can also be badasses if the situation requires it.
But let\’s also not be afraid to highlight the differences inherent in men and women. Let\’s not pretend they are the same. Let\’s not emasculate our boys. Let\’s not de-feminize our girls. (Is De-feminize a word? It is now.)
Men and women are different. Let\’s celebrate those differences!
A very well-reasoned opinion focused more on the specific changes that we would like to see from those who demonstrate these bad behaviors was written by my friend Andrew Thomas. I don\’t disagree with much of what he has to say. My dispute is with minimizing the goodness of men by quantifying it with the word \”some.\” You can read Andrew\’s opinion here.
Yes, we can always do better. And if that was truly the goal of Gillette, they succeeded in creating conversation. And if they make more sales as a result, good for them. I use an electric razor and it doesn\’t matter to me.
However, I feel like that the conversation would have been WAY more productive had they reinforced positive male behavior rather than lecture their customer base. If they had discussed the reasons we aren\’t promoting REAL masculinity in our culture.
Instead they jumped on the easy bandwagon. They, in what I believe was a very calculated manner, found a way to tap into our simplest emotions. After all, how can you argue with \”we can all be better\”?
Let\’s promote families staying together. Let\’s promote men raising their kids instead of abandoning them. Single parenting can be really hard. Let\’s provide good male role models as teachers. As a society let\’s put a significant value on both men AND women in the masculine and feminine roles nature created them with.
Come on, Gillette. You can \”be better.\”