Flying the Friendly Skies

I\’m not a big fan of the major airlines. In fact I have written several entries that demonstrated poor customer service by United and American.

However, I had a uniquely good experience on United a couple days ago and wanted to share it with you.

I was traveling to Los Angeles with Joel Ownby and Tim Prince, en route to Yanik Silver\’s Internet Underground conference in Los Angeles.

The three of us board the 737 and our seats are all the way in the back row. Yippee.

We get settled in and after a time notice that we aren\’t going anywhere. We\’re just sitting… waiting… wondering…

As it turned out, there was condensation on the center pane of one of the windows and for whatever reason, it needs to be dried out.

So we were told that the maintenance crew would be taking a blow dryer to the offending window and that it could take up to an hour before we were ready to depart.

There\’s nothing more enjoyable than being a sardine on an airplane and not making any progress towards your destination.

I started thinking of recent stories where passengers were essentially held hostage on planes for hours on end while a maintenance crew toiled away. I told my associates that I would enjoy blogging about an event like that from the plane while it was happening. After all, I DO have an iPhone.

While we were waiting for the window to dry out the flight attendants begin offering drinks and pretzels to snack on. I happened to notice that one of the flight attendants had a Milky Way bar in her hands.

Yum!

I jokingly asked the aforementioned attendant if I could have a Three Musketeers bar… a special order. She laughted and said that it wouldn\’t happen. Her candy bar was from her private stash.

Well. I never.

Some people needed to make connecting flights in L.A., so they were getting off the plane to talk to a gate agent. It was a good thing because the flight was full and we could do with a few less pounds on the 737 anyhow.

Since we were stuck at the gate and people were getting off, I asked the flight attendant, whose name happened to be Miranda, if she would get off the plane and get me the candy bar of my dreams.

She obviously enjoyed her job and responded with a deliberately sarcastic and somewhat cruel \”no\”.

Sigh. I was out of luck. Destined to only enjoy pretzels that the airline probably picked up for less than a penny a bag at a garage sale.

When I told Miranda that she was mean, she affirmatively replied that she was indeed the \”flight Nazi\”.

I persisted in asking for the Three Musketeers when Miranda would walk by, certain that she would eventually crack. Yes, there was witty banter. And yes, it did ease the sting of sitting in tight quarters wondering if we would ever leave.

Did I mention that the seats in the last row don\’t recline? If the person in front of me decided to recline, my kneecaps would most definitely break. Ouch.

Finally, the pilot tells us that we are clear to go. Huzzah!

By this time, we had also struck up a relationship with Marjorie, the other flight attendant that served those of us in steerage, er, coach. I complained to her that Miranda was mean.

She laughed and was sucked into the bizarre turn of events that would soon play out.

So we\’re probably an hour into the flight and Miranda walks up to our row and opens up her Milky Way bar. She offers me half of it! Oooooh… chocolate! I graciously accept and quickly snarf it down. Thanks Miranda!

A short while later, she shows up with THREE big Milky Way bars and offers them to each of us. Now Joel O. and Tim got to enjoy this airborne hospitality. I politely declined the bar stating that I had alreaey had one.

But it gets better.

Soon, Marjorie shows up with shortbread cookies which I accept without hesitation. Just what the doctor ordered!

Not only did Marjorie and Miranda have a great attitude about serving, but they were willing to go outside the box and give a little extra to the three guys sitting in what they called \”the worst seats on the plane\”.

I asked them if they knew what airline that were working for and questioned why they weren\’t with Jet Blue or Southwest instead…

I needed to get up and use the restroom, which of course, was directly to my back. So I got up and the two nice ladies were kicking back enjoying a snack and their newspapers.

That\’s when I spotted the little Ghirardelli chocolates sitting on the counter.

I thought, \”Wow. the paying customers get lousy pretzels and the airlines provide the employees with a secret stash of goodies. Huh.\”

I looked at the chocolate morsel and Marjorie nodded that I should take a couple.

How much would it cost for the airline to buy a couple bags of mini-Ghirardelli chocolates for each flight? Seriously, it would be so much better than those pretzels they toss at us.

Needless to say, I was in chocolate heaven and went back to my seat with a smile on my face.

About 15 minutes before landing, the flight attendant from the front of the plane headed to the back. Her name was Heidi. We struck up a conversation with her and she was just as pleasant and kind as the other ladies.

Had I stepped into the twilight zone? Usually I receive short, curt replies from impatient attendants that know that are working for an airline that is notorious for \”we could care less\” customer service.

I shared my recent experiences with Heidi. I told her about the gate agent that recently disciplined me for stepping on the red carpet when I boarded a flight.

I told her about the telephone support agent that charged me a ticket change fee for a flight I had already booked.

She, too, was shaking her head at the ridiculous policies of the major carriers. What ever happened to common sense?

I took these photos and let the ladies know that I would be posting them on my blog.

So Heidi, Miranda and Marjorie, if you should happen to read this entry, please know that your hospitality and willingness to go out of your way to make another humdrum flight a pleasant experience was greatly appreciated. United is lucky to have the three of you and I hope you will strive to continue putting \”friendly\” back in \”the friendly skies.\”

Now you\’ve got to believe that these poor ladies deal with every kind of obnoxious idiot in the western hemisphere. We were just a bunch of nice guys playing around hoping to pass the time by entertaining ourselves.

They played along and I honestly can\’t say I\’ve ever encountered such nice attendants on United airlines. At one point I asked them why they