We have a problem. Okay, we have LOTS of problems. But I want to discuss one problem in particular.
It’s political talk. And to a somewhat lesser degree, it’s religious talk.
Ooooo… the two taboos. It’s about to get real.
The problem is that religion and politics have created an environment that pits family member against family member, friend against friend, associate against associate and stranger against stranger.
You already know this appears to be true. Social media is merely a magnified barometer of the sentiments we share.
My guy is right. Your guy is wrong.
My faith is right. Your faith is wrong.
My belief is right. Your belief is wrong.
My truth is truth. Your truth is a lie.
You’re an idiot. You’re a fool. You’re a troll. You’re a moron. You’re a (fill in the blank with whatever adjective best suits your particular feeling of superiority.)
Blame it on religion and politics. Blame it on them both for the problem we have.
I will heretofore refer to the problem as the Religion and Politics Monster, or RPM.
Now don’t get me wrong. These two topics have led me to say some things I wished I hadn’t said. They have stirred me to my core and sometimes I have posted comments or replies that just fed the beast. Most of us have.
And how many of us can say the RPM has brought to the surface a truly ugly side of people we thought we knew… people who may be family members, friends or business associates.
In the past two years, I’ve experienced some of the most horrendous behavior from people I expected to be somewhat reasonable human beings.
I’ve been called a Nazi. (Odd, considering I am a Jewish male who has great respect for the Jewish people.) No, this isn’t stuff you just hear about. The RPM is real. I’ve experienced it.
I’ve been told that I am bigot just because I profess the Christian faith. In fact, there’s one individual who seems to be on some sort of holy vendetta against me, even though I have blocked him from my life. Friends tell me when they see someone post stuff like this. (Mind you, there are many flavors of faith. This person doesn’t even know what I believe.) The RPM likes to lump all people together.
And I’ve been blocked, then unblocked, then blocked again, from one person who I thought was a friend. The RPM causes people to have issues.
There are more. But you get the point.
I don’t block people on social media unless their behavior is vile. But if it is, you don’t get the privilege of being any part of my world.
Yes, religion and politics are the problem.
But… are they? Are they REALLY?
I think of the philosophers and statesmen throughout the ages. They have passionately discussed and argued about religion and politics wherever and whenever they lived.
After all, are there any two MORE important topics facing us as human beings?
Religions tells us who we are. What we believe about our origin, or lack of it, creates a framework for us as individuals and as a society.
And politics (in its purest form) tells us how we will operate as a society. Our political beliefs create a framework for how we shall live and function to bring about the common good.
So how could it be that religion and politics are the problem?
We’re told to NOT discuss these topics in a public forum because it leads to arguments and contentiousness. Just one minute on Facebook or Twitter demonstrates this to be true.
Social media has created an environment that nurtures incivility. Keyboard warriors vent their frustrations and unbridled anger through their hateful words and memes. Even though there are rational, reasonable people engaging in these same forums, people get lumped together in the same rancid stew of non-productive discourse. Can we even call it “discourse?”
The behavior is the thing we should be looking at.
Religion and politics are NOT the problem.
Lack of personal maturity is the problem.
It’s marked by the inability to control emotions and impulses, and an inability to behave like a reasonable adult when encountering someone who might have ideas that are different than yours.
Immaturity is marked by insecurity.
It says “I can’t listen to what you have to say so I must silence you through intimidation!”
The self-righteous attitudes attempt to mask the real problem.
We human beings tend to find our identity in the things we believe. What we believe tends to manifest in our behavior. So when someone has a differing opinion it can feel like a personal attack on who we are.
But that’s simply not the truth. Real discussions about religion or politics are based on thoughts and ideas. My thoughts about an issue, for example, aren’t a reflection on your value as a human being. Unfortunately, some feel that disagreeing with a certain point of view is an attack on their personhood.
A self-actualized person (and I’m not claiming to have arrived) doesn’t feel attacked when encountering someone who dares to have a different belief. They know who they are and don’t need the approval of others.
An unaware individual (again, I have moments like this) instinctively goes into fight or flight mode. “If you are right then I must be wrong! I simply could not handle that reality and so I will fight you or simply flee from the scene.”
These people, at that moment, are demonstrating a lack of emotional intelligence. They are allowing their emotions, instead of their rational mind, to dictate their behavior. The result is we are dealing with an adult behaving like a child.
We are all on the spectrum of self-actualization. We all know people who exhibit bits of wisdom and lead by example. And we all know others who move through this life absolutely clueless. But none of us have arrived at perfection.
So how then shall we live? If we can’t speak about the most important issues facing us a species, are we doomed to meaningless and socially appropriate conversation such as Black Friday sales, last night’s episode of another lame sitcom or which athletic team is going to go the distance?
We don’t have a religion and politics problem, friends. Religion and politics aren’t the monster.
We are the monster.
But the good news is… we don’t have to be.
May we all make a more conscious effort to get this right. It’s my challenge to myself… and to you.